A plea to the Democrats to get their shit together
And a fuck you to Gavin Newsom, too
Welcome back to Hot Tip and happy Friday, dearest pals! This morning I remembered the existence of “American Idiot” by Green Day (can’t imagine why), which is somehow 20 years old and perhaps the most creepily prescient song ever. Or, quite possibly, America has just sucked for a long time.
Reminder! Hot Tip is currently discounted for a full year, which amounts to roughly ten cents a day! A small price to pay for a moment of sanity wherein you get to giggle and learn something new. Perhaps I am slightly biased, as I use said cents to pay my rent. But again, why not both?
In dumbassery: A SpaceX craft exploded midflight for the second time, forcing the FAA to halt flights at several Florida airports, which sounds like some waste DOGE should look into!!! Donald Trump suspended his big boy tariffs against Canada and Mexico just two days after imposing them because the stock market tanked and also his words are generally meaningless! MAGAts are turning on Roe-killing Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, whom Trump nominated to the court in 2020, as some of her recent rulings have been deemed insufficiently loyal to the guy who once demanded a cameo in Home Alone 2.
And while a measles outbreak grows and bird flu ravages poultry farms, the CDC is reportedly “planning a large study into potential connections between vaccines and autism” (spoiler alert: not a thing!) under its new boss RFK Jr., who could not be reached for comment because he was too busy roasting an opossum for dinner that he ran over six years ago.
In culture: June Squibb is just like us, telling NY Mag what she can’t live without, which includes Werther’s Originals, Rare Beauty foundation, and 3-pack underwear. Mazels are in order for Gabby Windey and Robby Hoffman, who announced this week that they got married back in January. Lady Gaga’s new album Mayhem is out. And Joshua Jackson reenacted a scene from Dawson’s Creek on the Tonight Show, which was deeply important for some of us (me) who are 31-year-olds with a stuffed animal named after him (also me.)
Hot tip: The Democrats have lost the plot.
That’s Democratic Rep. Melanie Stansbury of New Mexico standing next to Trump before his address to Congress with the world’s smallest protest sign, I guess trying to meme her way out of a fascist coup like she’s Jim from The Office and these are just some silly presidential hijinks caught on camera! And to be fair to Rep. Stansbury, I’m not just calling her out. A lot of Dems decided to use extremely small signage to voice their concerns — and then, I assume, went to play paddleball or attend a Sotheby’s auction, because reduce, reuse, recycle.
Of course, that’s not the only way they demonstrated their opposition to Trump and the GOP! Others wore pink, the most effective use of protest clothing since this moment in 2020, which as you may recall, ended racism.
80-year-old Democratic strategist James Carville recently penned an op-ed in the New York Times in which he suggested that Dems “embark on the most daring political maneuver in the history of our party: roll over and play dead.” Okay, I’m sensing a theme, and not a fun one, like a Parisian-style bedroom.
As a voter who believes in the democratic process and a woman who has not yet secured a fiancé abroad, the performative nature of these “protests” is truly exhausting. We’re actively facing a president who is dismantling the federal government, starving millions of children around the world, disregarding the Constitution, abandoning our allies, tanking our economy, etc. etc. etc. and the best our representatives can come up with, apparently, is ‘okay but fuschia or bubblegum?’
One person who got it right was 77-year-old Representative Al Green (D-TX), who stood and shouted at Trump about his lack of a mandate until he was removed by the Sergeant at Arms. Every single Democrat in the room should have followed suit. The speech should have been interrupted so many times that Trump was forced to stand there long into the night unable to proceed whilst his makeup melted under the bright lights of Congress because, and I quote, “this is not normal.”
Instead, several other Dems walked out, others didn’t attend at all, but for the most part, they just sat there and rode it out, probably texting me for money in the interim.
Of course, the next day the House voted to censure Green, including ten (!!!) Democrats, whom we at Hot Tip are thrilled to name and shame right here.
Meanwhile, California Governor Gavin Newsom opened his brand new podcast with Charlie Kirk, a misogynistic podcaster and Jimmy Neutron villain who wished upon a star (no homo!!!) to become a real boy.
Newsom explained Kirk’s presence by saying “People need to understand your success, your influence, what you’ve been up to.” Again, this is a massive, idiotic miscalculation! If you want to go on Kirk’s racist show and challenge him, by all means, Gavin! But instead, Newsom got roped into a conversation about trans women in sports, during which he said he agreed it was “deeply unfair.”
So to recap: Costs are up for everyone, my generation will never be able to afford homes, our president’s weirdo stooge is firing veterans by the tens of thousands, women are dying because they can’t access abortion, we’re going to be on the wrong side of World War III, migrants who were lawfully seeking asylum are detained in Guantanamo, but we must first single out the .00000000001% of non-professional athletes who are mostly just children trying to live their lives and not be depressed by being true to themselves and playing in school soccer leagues. Makes sense!!!
Hot tip: Everyone needs to stop pretending this is some massive issue!!!! It’s entirely made up and designed to distract you! The New York Times might as well have asked them if they think Jake Gyllenhaal will ever respond to the letter I wrote him in 2006 (real). And NYT, please email me the results, because even if 99% say no that’s 1% who think there’s a chance and I need some hope to grasp onto at this insane moment!!!
How do I know it’s not a real issue? Well, I’m not a math gal, but there are numbers readily available. There are fewer than ten trans athletes in the entire NCAA — out of 500k total athletes. And by the way, Gavin, advantages exist everywhere!!! The world is not an inherently equal playing field. Are men who are 7 feet tall at an advantage to men who are 5’9” in basketball? Should they play in different leagues due to their biological differences? Ergo, this is so fucking dumb and needlessly hateful. Leave trans people alone!!!!
Some Dems are doing it right. Bernie is back on tour this weekend in Michigan and Wisconsin, hosting rallies and meeting with Republicans in narrowly-won districts. AOC didn’t attend Trump’s speech but went live on Instagram to talk about it with her millions of followers, alerting us to the risk currently facing Medicaid. Jasmine Crockett called Trump “Putin’s ho” after walking out of his speech, which is a highlight of the week for me. But the bottom line is: We need to hold them all accountable.
And now, a palate cleanser. Because I cursed a lot this week and if you made it this far, you deserve it.
These morons that are so adamantly against transgender people playing sports always seem to think they're only trans to deviously gain some sort of advantage in sports. Instead of, you know, just trying to be happy as themselves.