Jared Kushner simply loves the cinema
And other signs that Hollywood and humanity are thriving
At 32, I try desperately to be a martini girl. I really do. It feels like the sophisticated choice that my foremothers (Nora Ephron, Nancy Meyers, Martha Stewart, Diane Sawyer, et al.) would want for me. Picture it: You’re at a bar, and there I am, across the room, in an itchy but chic black sweater that I had to take an antihistamine to wear before leaving the house. My blowdried hair is loving the 28% humidity. And what am I sipping? Straight vodka with a pickled liquid that has me grimacing every time I lift the gorgeous, ice cold glass to my lips—when all I really wanted was the glass of wine on the menu most resembling juice. If this image sounds familiar to you, it’s because you’re my friend Chase who I had drinks with last night.
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In politics: Much like one would do with a four-year-old who is sad his balloon popped, FIFA President Gianni Infantino awarded Donald Trump the org’s inaugural (and completely made up) 2025 “Peace Prize”—just in time to potentially send American troops into Venezuela!!!—at the World Cup draw in Washington, D.C. Now Infantino is facing a possible ethics investigation for violating FIFA’s political neutrality doctrine, but I have an even bigger concern—
Re: Venezuela. Here’s where we’re at: Adm. Alvin Holsey, head of U.S. Southern Command and guy who Pete Hegseth dropped faster than an ex-wife, is meeting today with members of the Senate and House Armed Services Committees to discuss the Trump admin’s military operations in Latin America. He is set to retire on Friday after a distinguished 37-year career due to his apparent discomfort with blowing up random boats in the Caribbean. Meanwhile, Trump won’t say what his goals are in Venezuela, but has repeatedly threatened Pres. Nicolás Maduro (also a bad guy) and sent tens of thousands of American troops to the region—both of which feel more like an overture for war and less like an invitation to have YMCA dance battle, but at this point, who knows?
Quick tips:
Rep. Jasmine Crockett officially launched her Senate campaign in Texas (!!!!) on the day of the filing deadline, after her district was redrawn in the state’s newest bid to (and I’m paraphrasing here) “be extra racist.”
Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy wants you to fly in a suit—with pit stains. His new effort to “restore courtesy and class to air travel” via “dressing with respect” seems slightly at odds with his other plan to install gym equipment at airports.
MacKenzie Scott is making a great case for marrying and then divorcing a billionaire—the philanthropist donated $7.2 billion this year alone.
NYC Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani is moving to Gracie Mansion, the official mayoral residence on the Upper East Side.
In media: Jimmy Kimmel extended his deal at ABC for another year. Sheinelle Jones is Jenna Bush Hager’s permanent co-host. Australia has officially banned social media for everyone under 16 to address the risks it poses to children’s mental health. Golden Globe noms were announced and most of them are right, but I won’t say how I feel about the others unless you DM me and I feel like it.
After Netflix won Warner Bros. Discovery (a $72 billion offer) last week, Paramount made a hostile bid of $108 billion using money from one-time Gossip Girl guest star Jared Kushner and wealth funds from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and the UAE. And take it from me, it’s every young screenwriter’s dream to produce a movie using Ivanka Trump’s money, released exclusively on Paramount Plus, with notes from Bari Weiss. Hollywood is alive and well, and I’m fine.
Good + bad stocking stuffers:
Good: Press-on nails and cuticle serum. Maeve chocolate bars. Custom recycled leather bookmarks. A tiny Lego set. Maldon sea salt. Mini jam jars.
Bad: The new $200 Hermès reusable leather bandaid accessories, which the description says are “ideal for hanging photos, notes, hiding the camera on your laptop, or simply for personalizing your belongings,” and not for actual injuries or anyone who works at PETA.
Previously on Hot Tip:
okay but how do you feel about the podcast category?? And the best standup nominees are mostly terrible