Land of the free as long as we like what you're saying
+ Jesse Eisenberg's next movie, Katy Perry girlbossing literally too close to the sun, and Wolf Blitzer eating gefilte fish
Welcome back to Hot Tip to everyone except Katy Perry, who used her handful of minutes spent in space to promote an illegible set list for her next tour—all while NASA has abandoned its plans to put a woman and a person of color on the moon. I suppose there’s reading the room, and also reading the moon, and Katy did neither here. But at least Jeff Bezos tripped after the capsule landed safely back on earth, making the wasted billions momentarily worth it. It’s the little things.
An earnest thank you to everyone reading Hot Tip, whether you’re a paid or free subscriber. Times are incredibly tough, for no apparent reason other than the naked emperor is also pissing on everything in sight. So, if you’re getting anything out of this newsletter—info, giggles, or both!—consider upgrading to a paid subscription and/or sharing with friends. A reminder that paid subscribers get exclusive access to Sunday Recos, the Monthly Mag, and the full archive. More content to come as Hot Tip grows.
I love ya dearly. We’ll get through it all together.
In blatant violations of the law: Mohsen Madawi, a legal US resident and Columbia student protester, was arrested this week at what he thought was going to be an appointment for his citizenship, while Harvard University rebuffed the White House’s attempt to police the viewpoints of its students, faculty and staff members. That standoff is ongoing.
Meanwhile, we are no closer to the return of Kilmar Ábrego García, a man who had legal protection from deportation but was kidnapped by ICE and sent to a gulag in El Salvador as an “administrative error.” Not to mention: The Supreme Court said in a 9-0 decision that the White House needed to do what it could to “facilitate” García’s return, but in an unsurprising affront to checks and balances as we know it, Trump has basically responded with, “nah, I’m good.”
Meanwhile, President of El Salvador/guy who calls himself the “world’s coolest dictator” also slandered García as a “terrorist” (there’s literally no proof of this), and said he would do nothing to help return him to the US. The two of them are also concocting plans to disappear US citizens to El Salvador with no due process.
In short: Shit is bleak, and I wanted to share some thoughts I’ve been having.
There are indeed some things that are funny right now, especially JD Vance dropping Ohio State’s trophy at the White House, which you can watch as many times as you’d like here. And we will continue to laugh at funny things.
But I also recognize the tone in America is actively shifting from “hahahah what the fuck” to “uhhhh, wait, what the fuck?”
Thus far, I’ve made it my stated mission to 1) inform you and 2) make you laugh at the same time, and that isn’t going to change. But I’m also here to acknowledge that there are a lot of things that I don’t think should be made funny right now. And our blatant and rapid descent into authoritarianism falls into that category. So, if you’ll allow me, a few serious things to say on the subject before we go back to our regularly scheduled programming.
What’s happening with these detentions and disappearances is literally the stuff of totalitarian regimes. To be clear: They are not deporting violent criminals. 90% of those sent to El Salvador—which the US is paying for—had no US criminal record. And the people they are kidnapping simply for their beliefs and exercise of free speech, like Mohsen Madawi, Mahmoud Khalil, and Rümeysa Öztürk, are being moved around from state to state to increase confusion for their legal representation and distance them from their loved ones. Meanwhile, unidentified “ICE” agents are smashing car windows to remove people with no warrant, and Secretary of State Marco Rubio, whose parents fled Cuba and were not citizens upon their arrival, has essentially given it all a thumbs up from his seat deep inside the Oval Office couch.
Also fwiw, the Trump Administration likes to lie and say their efforts to censor individuals and universities are to rid the US of what they call “antisemitism.” Of course, these are the same guys who throw Sieg Heils on stage, call tiki torch-bearing dudes chanting “Jews will not replace us”—what was it, oh yeah— “very fine people,” and who openly accuse Jews who vote Democratic (which they do overwhelmingly, btw) of being “absolute fools.” Tldr: They are scapegoating Jews for their own shitty, illegal policies, and that won’t end well.
I’m scared for all of us, and I don’t know where we go from here. Senator Chris Van Hollen of Maryland says he plans on going to El Salvador to try to bring García back, which is an admirable thing, but I’m not sure what the outcome will be. Ultimately, I think we need to take a cue from Europe—pastry wise and protest wise, if I’m being honest—and get loud in the streets every damn day. This vague once a month thing, while well-intended, isn’t going to move the needle. It’s time for drastic action.
In other politics: Trump says he is planning on cutting funding for NPR and PBS, because apparently while a convicted felon sits at the resolute desk, there is no greater threat to democracy than a woman in a year-round turtleneck. And Georgia Rep. Rich McCormick—an actual medical doctor who worked in an ER—is blaming fluoride in water for rising autism rates, a suggestion nearly as stupid as when that other congressman literally promoted child labor in exchange for school lunches.
Hot tip: The CDC just announced their findings, which actually attribute a rise in autism cases to improvements in identifying it, which, duh. There’s a rise because we better understand what it is, and the fact that it’s a spectrum. Why do people drive cars instead of horses and buggies? Why do we shit in indoor toilets instead of outhouses? Why do doctors diagnose and treat cancer patients with chemo instead of assuming they have a demon inside them and need leeches all over their body? Technological advancement means better detection. It means better science and better medicine. It means change and growth and awareness and theoretically less idiocy, though that last part hasn’t proven true. Simply put, we live in a modern age where we can recognize, treat, and do things we couldn’t when RFK Jr. was born, which based on his appearance I have to assume was 1893. We just know more now!!!! Or, as Donald Trump so aptly put it—
In culture: Jesse Eisenberg’s next film is a musical comedy starring Bernadette Peters, produced by Emma Stone, and shot by the cinematographer of Anora, Drew Daniels—so, take all my money? After years of glaring omission, the Oscars have finally added a stunt design category, starting in 2027. Actress Taylor Dearden was interviewed in Vanity Fair about The Pitt and the depiction of neurodivergent characters on TV. (I’m aware that four newsletters in a row now mention The Pitt…I don’t have anything to defend myself with, I’m just saying I know.)
A new Seattle art exhibit is repurposing trash in a way that hopefully makes viewers question their consumption habits, or at least stop using plastic cups. And Hot Tip fav Wolf Blitzer tried his colleague Dana Bash’s gefilte fish this week, assuring her that he would be honest in his review. It’s wholesome, adorable, and the Passover content we deserve right now.
In sports: I loved seeing Olympic rugby sevens star Ilona Maher sporting a bright red lip on the field last summer, and I loved seeing the fashion choices made by the women drafted into the WNBA last night. Femininity and athleticism are not mutually exclusive, and it’s refreshing af to see it in The New York Times. As a former athlete who would rather watch Simone Biles or Coco Gauff than literally any football game ever, I’m grateful to see women’s sports moving to the forefront in places like the newly announced Sports Illustrated Women’s Games and on our TVs with Roku. Next up: pay parity and primetime.
Coming soon: An interview with your favorite beanfluencer and mine, Justine Doiron. And for paid subscribers, the April Monthly Mag.
Previously on Hot Tip:
Videos of terrible men falling down / dropping things may be what saves us in these times, thank you for your service. 🙏🏼
Reading the moon = actual LOL on my flight (yes I AM close to the moon right now, thank you for noticing)