Pots, kettles, and government protesters
And other lessons I'm learning from our devolving society
I’m in the process of purchasing a new car, by which I mean I’m pretending to be a man who is too busy to answer the phone and can only negotiate via text, because misogyny. It is not going well, and I have to regularly remind myself not to use any exclamation points in my messages. So I’ll just put the excess ones here!!!!!!!!! And if you have any negotiating tips, drop em in the comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today’s tips: Updates from Iran and Minneapolis, big dollar bill deals, and how to talk about sex on TV without being a weirdo.
In politics: Amid a total internet blackout in Iran and mass protests against the Islamic Republic that have resulted in the killings of thousands of civilians, Donald Trump says he will be sending “help” to the protesters, likely in the form of military strikes against the regime (because creep with dementia thinks big boom makes you forget about how he has released less than 1% of the Epstein files.) To be clear, the people of Iran fighting back against the authoritarian government they’ve had to live under for decades is incredibly brave and deeply worthy of our unconditional support, I just can’t help but notice, well—
—that the scrotum-faced demon we have to live under is currently sending 1,000 more immigration officers to Minnesota to *checks notes* kidnap innocent people, beat up/maim/possibly kill American protesters and while they’re at it maybe even detain American citizens, because that bitch has no clue what the word irony means and we live in hell!!! Cue Alanis.
Trump also shared a Wikipedia page calling himself the “Acting President of Venezuela,” so since that is apparently all it takes to make it legitimate—Noah Wyle’s spouse section and Bill Maher’s employment section, I’m coming for you.
And the Supreme Court appears poised to let trans sports bans stand, affecting the most vulnerable youth in dozens of states, so a reminder that trans kids make up the tiniest percent of the tiniest percent of child athletes and anyone who is fixated on whether or not a 12-year-old can play soccer with the gender they identify at school is a massive loser who should have to get “I am obsessed with children’s genitalia” tattooed on their forehead. Pass me the ink, I’ll do it myself.
In dollar dollar bills: MacKenzie Scott just donated $45 million to LGBTQ youth nonprofit The Trevor Project (I’ve said it thrice and I’ll say it again, only women should be billionaires.) Grand Slam season starts this weekend (!!!!) with the Australian Open, and prize money is up nearly 20% from last year. And Netflix is reportedly preparing an all-cash offer for Warner Bros. Discovery to fight back against Paramount’s bid, but I think all they really need to do is not look like two dudes who would start a conversation with “I’m not saying women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, but hear me out—”
In real estate: NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani and his wife Rama Duwaji have officially moved into Gracie Mansion on the Upper East Side and the couple reportedly brought a “healthy-looking” monstera plant with them to their new home, a detail I found so adorably relatable that I told my (very healthy) monstera plant about it. Yes, she’s jealous, but I insisted to her I’m not running for office.
In sports: We are just three glorious weeks out from the 2026 Winter Olympics, and U.S. Figure Skating just announced the 16 members of its team—and the women’s side reportedly has its first shot at a gold medal since 2002, so yes, be prepared for me to make the difference between pairs skating and ice dancing my entire personality. Also recently announced: the hockey rosters, which I suspect will have its best ratings ever this year, as—see below:
Watch this: A masterclass from my former boss in interviewing someone new to the spotlight extremely well about a show with a lot of intimacy—without being creepy and weird about it!!!! Take note, Marc Malkin. And get your flowers, Connor.
Previously on Hot Tip:
If you buy a used car from enterprise you don’t have to negotiate and they’re all in ~5 years old and in great condition for liability reasons. We actually got a really good deal!
But...*WILL* you run for office tho?