Thank you, Kamala Harris

a message of gratitude from a broken woman

There is plenty of time to talk about who he is. To feel anger in parts of your body where you didn’t know it lived. To question this country and the selfishness of the people in it. The misogyny. The transphobia. The racism. The hatred. And we will.

I couldn’t sleep for a while last night. I was totally numb. I watched the results come in with three other dynamic, smart, joyful women. And we spent the night in silence. Once it became clear what was happening, again, we hugged and we dispersed.

And then this morning, I woke up and I thought about Kamala Harris. And I broke down. I write this through tears for her, for the joyful, loving, united campaign she ran. For the vision of America she dared to believe in. That so many of us did. And I want her to know I am so thankful to her.

She was not a perfect candidate for many people, but this isn’t about that. There will be time for the Democrats to regroup, to wonder how this could have happened. I think the answer is actually quite simple: This country hates women. And they hate women of color even more.

Kamala is a woman who rose to the occasion when the world demanded it of her. She fought with every fiber of her being for the daughters that we don’t even have yet. She fought for immigrants and trans people and young people. She led with experience, conviction, sincerity, intellect, joy, and above all: humanity.

I don’t have the words to express to Kamala how sorry I am that she woke up in this world. Nor do I have the words for the women in my life. I just really want her to know that from the bottom top and middle of my heart, I thank her. She did not fail us. Millions and millions of Americans did, but she didn’t.

I will have the words for anger later. Right now, it’s confusion and heartbreak. I didn’t think this was who we were. It isn’t the people I know. But America chose the darkness that is to come. And it will be so much darker than many of those voters who chose him imagined. Their selfishness and complete lack of awareness of the stakes of our world will haunt them. And it will haunt us, too.

But to Kamala, and to women, I’m so sorry that anger and selfishness and misogyny won the day, once again. I will never understand. We were so excited to celebrate you, Kamala. In a just world, we wouldn’t have to face this reality. Women wouldn’t have to wake feeling like the men in this country would rather vote for a convicted felon and rapist than a qualified, experienced woman.

But this isn’t a just world.

And so, somehow, we go on. I don’t know how yet. But I know the women in your life will need to be held extra tight today, or given extra space, or just given time to grieve what could have and should have been.

Thank you, Kamala. I’m so sorry that so many failed you. You believed America was ready, and we believed in you. We still do.