The word of the week is 'dick'
Try to enjoy each use of it equally.
Welcome back to Hot Tip, dear pals! I hope you and yours are enjoying your V-day — I know me and mine* are! (*Mine is a breakfast burrito from Copa Vida in Pasadena.)
Things are feeling particularly bleak right now, so we’re going to lean into what is funny, joyful, + appropriately rebellious on this love-filled Friday.
In politics: At a “DOGE” subcommittee meeting this week, Rep. Robert Garcia (D-CA) opened his remarks by saying he would be sharing a “dick pic” a la Chairwoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (who shared Hunter Biden’s explicit photos on the House floor in 2023) and then brought out the below visual aid.
Note Rep. Greg Casar (D-TX) next to him, trying to subdue his giggles.
Yes, it’s a lil cringe, but I’m grateful to the Democrats who recognize that “when they go low, we go high” isn’t a thing anymore, if it ever even was!!! Asking for “decorum” in Congress these days is like asking a guy who goes to Margaritaville for lunch every day to at least wear a tie in the dining room. He’s there to eat 100 crab legs, Hakeem! So put on a bib, sit at the fucking table, and do your job!
Anyway, Garcia then went into the specifics of what “DOGE” intends to demolish, from the Dept. of Education to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, but (unsurprisingly) people became very fixated on the ‘dick’ of it all. CNN’s Brianna Keilar asked him, “Do you think that calling Elon Musk a dick is effective messaging for confronting what is a potentially irreversible transformation of the US government?” to which he replied “Well, he is a dick.”
It’s giving — and I do mean this as the utmost compliment — Nick Miller.
Rep. Casar of the progressive caucus (and, if this publication is being honest on Valentines Day, a real cutie!!!) didn’t hold back on the hypocrisy of it all when it was his turn, either. So to Democratic leadership, I beg — more of this, and less Chuck Schumer leading a chant so uninspiring it made my time at cheer camp in 2002 look electric by comparison.
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Queen AOC held an immigrants’ rights webinar for her constituents, which prompted Trump’s “border czar” Humpty Dumpty Tom Homan to go on Laura Ingraham’s Fox News show and throw a fit about her exercise of free speech, while repeatedly using a word he made up (“impedement”???) Much like the Gulf of America, though, saying it doesn’t make it real.
In cable news: I promised more “dick”s, and I will deliver. Anderson Cooper called former NH Governor Chris Sununu a dick on air (well, technically, he said “don’t be a dick,” but the message was received) and while he later apologized, I wish he hadn’t. Much like in Congress, the media also needs to stop being so polite about an ongoing coup. In fact, this goes great with my new Hot Tip bumper sticker line.
In checks and balances: A number of federal judges are doing their parts, too. Two judges have halted Trump’s order to stop gender-affirming care for minors and another restored foreign aid funding that was put in place before Trump took office. Meanwhile, a fourth judge blocked Trump’s order to end birthright citizenship. Suddenly I am begging for jury duty??? I promise to be impartial!!!
Federal prosecutors are also resigning left and right in NYC in protest of the Justice Department attempting to force them to drop charges against (Dick) Mayor Eric Adams. Yes, threw another one in there for good measure.
In international resistance: Middle school students at a US military school walked out of class in protest of Pete Hegseth’s visit to Stuttgart, Germany (the kids are truly alright!!!!) and Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum says her government is considering suing Google over its ridiculous map change to “Gulf of America” to which I say, who do I make my check out to?
In music: Este Haim is engaged, and the sisters are clearly going to be back with a single soon. Mazels abound, for them and for us!!! + Sir Paul McCartney did a surprise show at NYC’s Bowery Ballroom for fewer than 500 people — tickets were $50 cash, in person, and it sold out in thirty minutes. All that was missing was a rooftop. There is no joke for this, I’m just emotional.
Hot Tip: SNL is 50 this weekend.
Live from New York, it’s—Sunday night? Okay, if you say so. SNL is airing its 50th anniversary special on Sunday at 8 PM on NBC — and tonight, you can watch SNL50: The Homecoming Concert for three hours (Oppenheimer-style!!!) on Peacock, live from Radio City Music Hall. It’s all huge news to adults who spent their formative childhood years reenacting everything Chris Farley ever did. Yes, I’m talking about me.
I mean it quite literally when I say your posts are the only piece of the news cycle I look forward to lately
I would absolutely buy one of those bumper stickers.