This carpet is war criminal red™️
We brought an evil dictator to America, but at least we got nothing out of it
When it comes to brekky, I like to keep it simple, but this week, a hot new bombshell entered the routine—sheep’s milk halloumi from Trader Joe’s. Apparently, it’s seasonal and they only carry it in the summer, so, much like our legal rights in this country—get it while it lasts!!! (Ed note: This is neither an ad nor a sponsored post, just a moment of gratitude from a woman who recently ate fried cheese. But she remains deeply open to all cheese-related collabs. DM her.)
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Breaking news: Between the actual, literal red carpet for a war criminal, Trump’s applause for a guy whose enemies have a mysterious tendency to fall from windows, the wall-to-wall ESPNification of it all on cable news, and the giddy, private car ride like Trump and Putin were on their way to prom, there’s plenty happening besides my ongoing bout of Covid to make one nauseous right now!!!
After days of build-up, Trump and Putin met in Alaska today in theory to discuss an end to its siege of Ukraine (of course, no Ukrainians were present), but after several hours—and in front of a backdrop emblazoned with “pursuing peace”—Trump announced no deal was reached, and that (and I’m paraphrasing here) the whole exercise could have been an email. So I decided to make it worth it.
In politics: No shock here given the city is home to restaurants named “We the Pizza” and “Founding Farmers,” but D.C. is not just taking martial law lying down. On the contrary, protests have been ongoing since the National Guard moved in on Tuesday, and today D.C. Attorney General Brian Schwalb sued the Trump Admin for its “hostile takeover” of the Metropolitan Police Dept. And it sort of worked—a judge agreed it was likely an overreach, and the Trump Admin. backed off, keeping the city’s police chief in charge, for now.
But my favorite method of resistance came from a Dept. of Justice employee (now an ex-employee), who threw a Subway sandwich at a law enforcement officer and was—at least initially—charged with felony assault (tbd if that sticks, given
”attempted death by turkey” probably won’t hold up in court.) Details obviously worth mentioning: It happened at 14th and U, the sandwich was “likely a BMT with added banana peppers” (via NY Post, so take that with a dumptruck of salt), and the hailing of the hoagie hero as a “gyro” on a D.C. subreddit. Yes, we here at Hot Tip love dumb puns, and we love D.C.
Hot tip: resistance to stupid authoritarianism (regular authoritarianism, but from idiots) is spreading. Gov. Gavin Newsom announced on Thursday that California would put a vote to the people to redistrict the state in response to Texas trying to steal five seats on Trump’s behalf before the midterm elections. It’s a welcome move and a good playbook—and better than a shitty podcast, to be sure.
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Quick tips: Mark Zuckerberg is ruining his neighbors lives in Palo Alto by buying up homes, building a compound, and then leaving many of them empty. Some Secret Service and military engineers may be in trouble for raising the river level so that a little boy by the name of JD Vance could go canoeing on his birthday. And Trump will let Nvidia and AMD sell chips to China, as long as they give the US government a 15% revenue kickback, which is maybe (probably) illegal.
explains it here better than I ever could.
In culture: Anthropologie recently launched its label Maeve as a standalone brand. The Traitors is going to air on NBC with normies (non-celebs) in the cast, and you (dare I say we???) can apply here. And Venus Williams now has her own Barbie in celebration of her work toward pay equity. I’ll take five.
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Did you notice how far Trump had to walk before reaching the red carpet after stepping down from the stairs?
Putin took a step immediately from the stairs to the red carpet.
I don’t know what that means, but I guarantee you Trump knows.