Hey, pals. The news this week has been particularly devastating and heavy, but I promise to do my best to keep the laughs to a maximum and include a lot of joy amid the chaos, because Hot Tip is not just here to tell you what you need to know; it’s also here to know when you need a break from the ~points in 12 different directions~ happening right now so you can fight back against fascism and unscientific bullshit. All with a great manicure, no less.
In health: A mass exodus is underway at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention due to the organization’s apparent new interest in disease spreading. The pro-Polio Trump White House forced out the CDC director because she “refused to rubber-stamp unscientific, reckless directives and fire dedicated health experts,” per her lawyers. Basically, just one month after starting the job (and mere weeks after a vaccine misinfo-prompted shooting at the CDC), Susan Monarez said she would not resign after malignant tumor who wished to be a real boy RFK Jr. tried to force her because he didn’t like her whole ~believing in vaccine science vibe~. Then, a bunch of her colleagues resigned in protest. But not to worry: The man tapped to replace the microbiologist Monarez is non-DEI-merit-based hire Jim O’Neill, a tech investor and RFK pal.
But the non-science didn’t stop there. This week the FDA put major limits on who can access a Covid vaccine this fall—and you’re probably not on the list. Meanwhile, RFK Jr. says he can tell children are unhealthy and have “mitochondrial challenges” (????) simply by looking at them, so a quick reminder that using seventh grade biology words to sound scientific does not a scientist make! I know the words endoplasmic reticulum; heck, I could even throw them in a sentence, i.e. “it’s important to maintain the structure of a cell’s endoplasmic reticulum,” or “please pass the endoplasmic reticulum” but that doesn’t make me a doctor. It does qualify me for the new CDC chief, though, and I am unemployed—
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In politics: D.C. remains subject to a military occupation it doesn’t want (and hot tip, it costs roughly $1 million per day), but at least the National Guard is on hand to fight crime spread mulch.
Meanwhile, Trump is threatening to send even more troops to cities like Chicago, Baltimore, and Oakland (which, quick rant if I may, but hot tip to news outlets: stop repeating White House talking points!!! I heard a CNN anchor say this week Trump “may expand the federal crackdown on crime,” but that’s not what this is!!! It’s an autocratic power grab and expensive landscaping service. Do your fucking jobs!!!!! I digress.)
Anyway, today 19 Democratic governors signed a joint letter (cute) calling the threat to send in troops for no reason an “alarming abuse of power,” and we may be about to find out just how much “states’ rights” actually matter to the GOP.
And in truly excellent news, a grand jury refused to indict American Hero/sandwich guy on felony charges (as you may recall, a man threw a Subway sando at federal officers), and D.C. street art has already met the moment perfectly.
In sports: The US Open is giving us everything we need in this moment: a Venus win in doubles, a $23 cocktail called the Honey Deuce, a $42.5k fine for being a man baby, and incredible fashion—from both the players and spectators.
Caitlin Clark is officially a Nike signature athlete, with a shoe and apparel collection to come in 2026. And the newly-formed Women’s Professional Baseball League (yes, you read that right!!!) had tryouts this week, and 98-year-old Maybelle Blair (one of the players who inspired A League of Their Own) threw out the first pitch at a scrimmage and—
For your LDW consideration: ColorFX by imPRESS Press-On Nails (I’m currently rocking a cat-eye, no glue, at-home gel mani for twelve bucks!!!) The “Opaque” flavor from Jeni’s Ice Cream—don’t be turned off by the black color, it’s reeaaaally good. And go to the movie theater! I cried no fewer than six times watching Freakier Friday this week. Also new: The Roses, Splitsville, Caught Stealing.
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The way I chuckled at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping reference