Barack Obama knows the bar is lower now

And also that a hot dog is not a sandwich.

May 07, 2026

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The Met Gala is inherently a complicated affair. I know next to nothing about fashion, but always welcome the opportunity to opine—correctly, mind you—on who did it best. But also, it’s a gross display of capitalism and consumption at its absolute worst during a moment of repeated corporate layoffs, surging gas prices, and me screaming “representative!!!!!” at a robot trying to deny my health insurance claim. But also, it’s a major fundraiser for the arts. But also, Meryl Streep has never once attended, and I trust her implicitly. But also, shouldn’t we be allowed to enjoy artwork and too many arms and absolute excess from the comfort of our couches if we want to? But also, Jeff Bezos. But also, Beyonce. But also Zohran wasn’t there, which is a good look. But also Mark Zuckerberg was there, which is always a bad look—and that’s before you take the “I did it myself, mommy!!!” haircut into account. Etc. etc.

On Monday evening, I too found myself simultaneously getting the ick as Gigi Hadid couldn’t name a single piece of art, and marveling at Emma Chamberlain’s hand-painted gown, not to mention Chase Infiniti in a look we will remember for decades.

Ultimately, wherever you fall on that extremely wide spectrum, I get it, and you’re right, because it’s all true—unlike Trump’s self-declared Good Will Hunting-level math skills.

In politics: Donny T’s “mini war” with Iran—as if he were describing a cute little bottle of sriracha you can keep in your purse and not a deadly conflict wreaking havoc on the entire planet, killing thousands, and worsening millions of lives—is going as well as can be expected when the dudes running it are publicly going with “well, at least it’s been less time than Vietnam and the War of 1812.” Now a new intel report suggests that Iran can outlast the US blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, and that the IRGC still has most of its ballistic missiles and launchers, contrary to what we’re being told. Okay, next you’ll tell me Trump isn’t a natural blonde???

The Tennessee Legislature is already chopping up the state’s single Democratic, majority-black district, now divided and redistributed into three more rural, Republican districts, in the wake of last week’s disastrous Supreme Court ruling. At the same time, SCOTUS expedited the finalizing of said ruling, allowing Louisiana to redraw its maps before the 2026 midterms even though more than 40k people in the state had already cast primary votes. Bad days for democracy, great days for emotional support donuts.

In culture: The new show everyone is talking about is AppleTV’s Widow’s Bay, a Stephen King-esque thriller created by a former Parks and Rec writer—sign me up. There’s a trailer for A24’s Anthony Bourdain biopic, and I reckon it’ll be good. And with only two weeks left of his show, Stephen Colbert interviewed President Barack Obama ahead of the opening of the Obama Presidential Center, a nearly 20 acre campus on Chicago’s South Side featuring a museum, public library branch, basketball court, and fruit + veggie garden. So hot tip: for ten nostalgic-ass minutes, allow yourself to enjoy this competency porn from two men with wives that like them.

In travel: Spirit Airlines isn’t the only recent airline casualty: Delta is now cutting Biscoff + bevvy service on short-range flights—aka anything under 350 miles, roughly the distance between LA and SF. NJ Transit roundtrip prices to this summer’s FIFA World Cup at MetLife Stadium have been slashed by about a third—but at $105, they’re still at quite a premium from the usual $12.90. And a hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship may have your group chat spinning out, but take it from the head of a health agency that doesn’t have a special section of his trunk for “roadkill/dinner”, you need not lose much sleep over this one.

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