On leaning into comfort when the world is shit
The bottom line is, do it.
If this email is too long for your inbox, you can read the whole thing here.
Turns out, wisdom teeth removal at 32 is not for the faint of heart, because fuuuuuuck has it been painful (I’ve also had some annoying complications though I will spare you the details) and fuuuuuuck am I hungry for things that aren’t the consistency of cottage cheese. Couple that with the relentlessly awful news cycle of the past week and the ways that the overly bronzed dementia-ridden half-asleep sociopath in charge of the nuclear arsenal has responded, and one might be tempted to a) throw one’s phone into the ocean and/or b) book a one-way ticket to a quiet French town where Chalamet is just a brand of champagne. And both of those sound completely reasonable to me right now, so if that is your plan, go with god.
But for the anxiety and OCD-ridden (sup, it’s me) it can feel irresponsible, or like you aren’t taking the stakes of our world seriously if when it goes up in flames you realize you actually just need to lie on the couch all day with your phone on airplane mode, an ice pack slung around your jaw, and Modern Family to fill the quiet in your apartment—yes, I’m still watching!!! It can feel like you aren’t being productive enough, or helpful enough, or aware enough, but try to remember that humans aren’t meant to know everything we know, and we’re certainly not designed to carry a brick that alerts us to every horrific update of every horrific tragedy every moment of every day. Imagine getting push notifications in the year 1200 for every new crusade or case of bubonic plague when all you’re trying to do is fetch a pail of water for the animals. (Thanks to RFK Jr., we may be close to this specific nightmare!) But bottom line is, we’re simply not designed to be inundated like this!!!
Self-preservation is not laziness. It is a privilege, yes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t exercise it when you are able, whether that’s for five minutes, 24 hours, or (le gasp!) an entire weekend. And I say all of this as the writer of a newsletter specifically designed to inform you—in a funny way, of course—about the less than ideal goings-on of this here planet earth. But sometimes things just aren’t funny, and right now, that is mostly the case. Except for the White House photos from Vanity Fair. Those are hilarious.
So if you happen to be feeling like you need a total stranger’s permission to check out for a bit, consider this that, along with some hot tips to do so.
A few news quick tips are at the bottom of this email, too. They’re optional.
CALM YOUR BODY DOWN
Sauna + cold plunge. Alternatively, if this isn’t accessible, you can slow your heart rate down simply by lying with an icepack on your chest for a bit—love, a panic attack pro. For an added bonus, lie on the floor with your legs up on the wall for a few minutes, which also helps relax your body for free.
Meditate. When I learned that meditating wasn’t about shutting off your brain, but rather noticing whatever thoughts and feelings pass as they happen (“am I meditating right???”), it unlocked a lot for me. I particularly enjoy listening to meditations by psychologist Tara Brach. Hot tip: They’re free!
Go for a walk without your phone. Yes, you’ll spend the first 20 minutes repeatedly reaching toward your back pocket due to the phantom vibrations, but eventually your brain will lock in (or, as it were, out.)
Plan a staycation. I’m going to a hotel next week with one of my best friends for just one night to reset, write out goals for 2026, order room service that I can hopefully chew, and wear a robe that I can’t afford.
USE YOUR HANDS
Garden. I do realize of course that it is the dead of winter, but maybe your indoor plants have outgrown their homes and need to be repotted. Maybe you can grow some herbs in your windowsill. Maybe you can seek out the most real-looking fake plant that requires no care at all, creating a years-long ruse with your friends impressed by your newly-acquired green thumb. You do you.
Build bouquets. Go to your local grocery store, get three different kinds of flowers/fillers, and make one big one—or a bunch of tiny ones. I like to do the latter and scatter them throughout my home (one bedroom apartment.)
Do something artsy, even if you’re not artistic. Take an empty can of tomatoes and turn it into a fun flower vase. Collage a vision board for 2026. Buy the cheapest watercolor set you can find from Michael’s and learn from a YouTube video, or just make it up as you go. Even doing a puzzle counts, as far as I’m concerned.
Paper chain the fuck out of your house for the holiday season. I got shiny and glittery paper for mine and it elevates the mood just the right amount.
EAT GOOD
Bake the pain away. The best cookies I have ever made, hands down, are these hot cocoa cookies from the Broma Bakery cookbook. They also involve multiple steps, aka great distraction right now. And you know how much I love these molasses guys.
Magical meals. I don’t know exactly what it is about a chicken caesar wrap, but I am convinced it is a magical food filled with healing powers. So is matzoh ball soup. Use this information as you will.
Have a cookbook party with your friends or family. Everyone bakes one dish from the same cookbook. I love the All Time one or Justine Cooks from Hot Tip pal Justine Doiron.
Order a fun ice cube tray, like this one from Zara. If you’re using it for cocktails or mocktails, freeze it with some basil or lemon in it. If you’re using it for iced coffee, freeze coffee cubes. No, it won’t fix everything, but looking down into my glass and seeing a tiny ice cube strawberry would lift my mood immensely.
ZONE OUT/GET OUT
Great gowns. Watch The Gilded Age (HBO), especially seasons one and two, where the stakes couldn’t have been lower and it’s all about giant chandeliers, coming out balls, and Christine Baranski.
Go to a local bookstore and chat with an employee to get a good rec. Alternatively, if you’re trying to get rid of books, drop some off at a little free library in your neighborhood with a cute sticky note to the next reader.
Bring your friend a coffee and just sit together. Talk, scroll your phones in silence, whatever. It’s usually just better to not be alone.
Rearrange some furniture. I recently hung up new shelves, moved photos around, and acquired a cute lil bar cart. Little shifts can lighten the mood—or, if you hate it, you’ll have to put it all back and that will take even more time, which is a win in this situation.
Listen to this 4+ hour playlist of songs I curated called “Turn Off Your Brain.”
Wander around a flea market or peruse a shoppy shop. The best ones in LA are Bucatini and Sherman Oaks Antique Mall. If you don’t feel like leaving the house, spend some time on Etsy or Ebay. Worst case scenario you end up with some new vintage piece or a Nandor the Relentless ‘Fucking Guy’ mug. (Yes, I have this one.)
The bottom line is whatever your comfort things are, now is the time to do them, sans shame.
Quick tips:
Humblest and normalest man alive Donald Trump says he is renaming the Kennedy Center the Trump-Kennedy Center (though technically that authority rests with Congress but rules don’t matter anymore, so.) In even bigger news, JFK is apparently alive and should be thrilled to be on the ‘great team’?
The Warner Bros Discovery board rejected the hostile Paramount bid in favor of the Netflix one due to “significant risks and costs on WBD,” chief among them maintaining Larry Ellison’s natural blonde locks.
Olivia Nuzzi went on Adam Friedland’s show. God bless people who don’t do their research beforehand.
Baking just to feel something real over here!!!
Paper chaining the fuck out of my house has, indeed, been a coping mechanism of mine. it looks adorable and festive in here, and I won't stop!!