Shut up and listen to Jon Ossoff humiliate Pete Hegseth

No I haven't seen the Odyssey. Yes I've watched this grilling on a 3-hour loop.

Jul 22, 2026

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Starting with some vulnerability by sharing either a deeply endearing or deeply horrifying look at my computer on a Hot Tip pub day. Maybe a little bit of both?

In politics: Sec. of Defense Pete Hegseth testified before the Senate Appropriations Committee today to talk about why the Pentagon needs another $87 billion—on top of the $100 billionish already spent, btw—to continue its never-approved-by-Congress-in-the-first-place war in Iran that has once again shut down the Strait of Hormuz and resulted in more American troop deaths.

No surprise: Jon Ossoff absolutely obliterated Hegseth in his questioning (unlike the US, which has in no way obliterated Iran or its nuclear program no matter how many times they say it!!!) and Hegseth was visibly rattled despite using all the hair gel from every Walgreens in D.C. Big surprise: Hegseth did not ask senators for a sperm sample.

NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani said in an interview with the New York Times over the weekend that he was looking into his options to arrest Israeli PM and war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu in support of the ICC arrest warrant he is facing, should Netanyahu show up at the UN General Assembly in September. Then, late this afternoon America’s mayor posted a video on Instagram, saying that while the city can’t execute this arrest, the federal government does have the legal authority, calling on them to do so and making abundantly clear: “Benjamin Netanyahu is not welcome in New York City.” In an era plagued by meaningless word vomit from some and deranged vanity from others, I’m struck by how rare a true leader is—and very grateful for it.

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Quick tips: Mitch McConnell is still probably dead. France is banning social media for kids under 15, making it the perfect country—as soon as they add air conditioning. And GOP Rep. Steve Scalise used an Olive Garden promo to advocate for stricter voter ID laws, a real thing that prompted the paper that uncovered Watergate to have to ask a restaurant famous for its unlimited breadsticks for comment.

“Fraudulent pasta sales” would be my villain origin story.

In biz: A federal judge is putting a temporary kibosh on the Paramount/Warner Bros Discovery merger in the form of a 14-day restraining order, while a 12-state coalition (led by California) argues in court that the joining would violate federal antitrust laws. Judge Araceli Martínez-Olguín also said she would decide in early August whether to grant an injunction, which would shut the deal down for—at minimum—several months.

Larry Ellison: Oracle co-founder who overtook Musk as world's richest person | US news | The Guardian — Btw: Oracle CEO and natural blonde David Ellison is facing a personal financial crisis of sorts after putting himself on the hook for $40 billion of the deal.

In health: The ongoing diarrhea lettuce investigation got confusing this week after the FDA said it was a “false positive” test that tied the Cyclospora outbreak to Taylor Farms, but allow me to thicken the plot a bit: the company is also a huge MAGA donor and the so-called “false positive” was announced after their execs met with White House and FDA officials. So while we don’t know without a shadow of a doubt it’s their fault, there are two things we do know: 1) They’re definitely assholes and 2) Chocolate croissants are safe.

And I would personally avoid the so-called “Zara death pants,” described as such because the wide-legged trousers are apparently causing people to trip and absolutely eat it. Far less likely to kill us: these cute Old Navy athletic shorts I just bought because everyone is styling them in such chic ways right now.

FYC: House of the Dragon’s incredible third season, which has firmly brought me back into appointment television territory on HBO Sundays, despite the occasional appearance of a character of whom I have zero recollection. The Lucas Museum of Narrative Art, which is opening in September but started selling tickets today. Yensa Lip Nourishing Oil in Rebel Rose, the perfect shade of pink with a genuinely lovely scent. And this Avengers: Doomsday theory.