Will cross country for friends + bagels
Hot Tip, New York edition.
This week I went to a Comedy Gives Back benefit show in LA and got to ask big-time action star Bob Odenkirk if we should start a rumor he’s the new James Bond. He suggested an alternate rumor: James Bond’s dad. You heard it here first!!!!
In politics:
Once again, we are sending in the small, weird, random guns—Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff—to try to negotiate an end to the Iran “Not a War” War, this time without the VP; apparently the only thing more offensive than the president’s non-government employee son-in-law definitely using a war to make money is the mere presence of JD Vance. Honestly, I get it. But it’s not happening ASAP: Trump says he doesn’t want to “rush” it despite raging gas prices, an unshocking revelation from a guy who said this the most recent time he was in the front seat of a car:
Quick tips: Federal firing squad executions are back, in case it wasn’t already feeling enough like 1859. Tucker Carlson may suddenly be apologetic-ish, but he’s still a raging bigot/antisemite. It’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner weekend in D.C., and in lieu of a comedian, the WHCA has picked “mentalist”/magician Oz Pearlman to—I’m assuming—guess the nuclear codes? Which—I’m assuming—are just B00B$? But hey, at least we can rely on journalists to continue speaking truth to power whilst choking down room temperature well-done ketchup-dipped steak—
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In business:
The federal government will soon be returning $166 billion to corporations like Costco, Gap, and Walmart after their tariffs were ruled illegal, but you’re not likely to see a dime of it—okay, can we at least get a free Costco hot dog???
Apple has a new CEO, bed and bath are beyond once more—in the form of combined stores with The Container Store—and Meta is laying off 8k employees and Microsoft is offering buyouts for up to 7% of its US workforce as both companies turn towards AI and away from ~you just writing your own damn emails!!!!~
👀: The Victoria Beckham x GAP collection, which is selling out fast.
72 hours in New York.
I lived in New York in my early 20s, and I wasn’t very good at it. But I am good at visiting New York, which I got to do this week for the Broadway opening of Schmigadoon!—yes, adapted from the AppleTV show and yes, company managed by one of my best friends. It’s a great time for anyone who wants to hang out in an old, beautiful theatre for two hours with Ana Gasteyer (everyone on earth, I must assume) and who appreciates dancers so good you contemplate signing up for adult classes despite the fact that, babe, you’ll simply never bend that way!!!
Of course, I also go to New York to eat. The best place to get breakfast and a sarcastic remark from an impatient waiter (compliment, I tip extra for this in New York) remains always and forever Barney Greengrass. I take great pride in the fact that I’ve always ordered the very same dish there as former regular Anthony Bourdain—eggs scrambled with nova and onions, giant block of cream cheese, and a bagel (everything for me.) And since my usual non-dairy lifestyle was already out the window, I also stopped by Radio Bakery in Prospect Heights, for both a triple chocolate croissant and a turkey pesto focaccia sandwich. And if I may, Radio Bakery:
In pretending I’m in a different tax bracket: I finally ventured into Printemps, a Parisian department store outpost in FiDi, and while I touched ~almost nothing~ due to the risk of breaking and buying, the store itself is a work of art, and absolutely worth perusing. I had a similar experience poking my head—and body, it was raining—into the Drawing Room at SoHo’s very chic Crosby Street Hotel. I like operating under the “pretend like you belong until someone notices you don’t,” general rule, and usually that works.
Other highlights included McNally Jackson, shoppy shop Greenwich Letterpress, a Shabbos stroll in Central Park, and a very good latte from Kona Coffee. But the best part, duh, was seeing six different friends—opening new shows, starting new jobs, having new babies, and generally thriving. Also, public transportation to the airport. Make note, LA.
Read: This piece from Jake Reiner on the loss of his parents, Rob and Michele.
FYC: I’m convinced pounding Zicam and a recent Covid booster shot prevented me from getting sick after two recent big trips. And I’ve recently begun using Living Proof’s smooth styling serum and my at-home blowouts have a) never looked better or received more compliments and b) last days.
