Antichrist applies for role of "Pope"
And ChatGPT refuses to make me a picture of it
Welcome back to Hot Tip! I discovered today that y’all are reading this newsletter from 48 states (the Dakotas apparently have beef with me?) and 65 countries—which, can I be a nerd for a sec, is really fucking cool?
Meanwhile, Hot Tip is celebrating its eight monthaversary, and I am celebrating the 19-year anniversary of my bat mitzvah, so in honor of me and my newsletter both becoming women, please consider sharing this newsletter with a friend, family member, single Jewish man, or full-time employer with healthcare benefits that you think would love it. Many birds, one stone, etc.
This week: The Canadian PM puts Trump in his place, Mike Pence is rewarded for doing the bare minimum, and a Met Gala theme actually worth celebrating.
In global politics: The official papal conclave is set to begin imminently, and some of the clerics involved are reportedly watching 2024’s Conclave to prepare, though the lack of Ralph Fiennes as their camerlengo is sure to be a disappointment.
This week, Donald Trump defended his posting of an AI-generated image of himself as the Pope-elect—which, of course, deeply offended the Catholic community—by first saying “they can’t take a joke?” and then “my wife thought it was cute” and finally, “actually, I would not be able to be married, though. To the best of my knowledge, popes aren't big on getting married, are they?” at which point the warehouse containing all of Trump’s made-in-China God Bless the USA bibles spontaneously burst into flames, the orange-colored smoke indicating that America had indeed elected a senile, failed casino owner as it wafted away and polluted the countryside.
Btw, intrigued by the AI-generated image of it all, I asked ChatGPT to make me a photo of Trump as the Antichrist, which the robot refused on the grounds of “religious defamation.” But when I asked it to make an image of Trump as Pope, it asked me, “realistic, cartoonish, or something else?”
Donald Trump continues to lose elections all over the world, including this week in Australia, where the center-left Labor party and its leader Anthony Albanese secured a landslide victory over conservative candidate Peter Dutton, dubbed “Temu Trump.” Hot tip: Voting is compulsory in Australia, where elections are held on a Saturday, people show up in bathing suits, turnout is over 90%, and voters are rewarded with “democracy sausages” at polling places. As a former swimmer with a love for democracy, the beach, and hot dogs—
The Aussie victory comes on the heels of last week’s Canadian elections, which were also a loud rejection of Trumpism—their Trumpy candidate even lost his seat in Parliament. New Canadian PM Mark Carney met with Trump in the Oval Office today and reminded him that our sovereign neighbors to the north will “never” become the 51st US state, and I gotta say, watching Trump be forced into submission by Carney really has me saying Justin Whodeau???
Trump also declared this week that there will be a “100% tariff” on movies produced outside the US, without clarifying in any way what that actually means or how it will be implemented, because those films are a “national security threat.”
And in our own dumbass local politics: Republican Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has opted not to run for Senate against Democratic incumbent Jon Ossoff next year, opening the door wide open for Marjorie Taylor Greene to say something weird about Jewish people in a debate. Post-tariffs, White House officials are reportedly hoarding toilet paper and other necessities before prices skyrocket and shelves empty/liberate themselves a la 2020 in order to MWYAIA (Make Wiping Your Ass Impossible Again.) The Dept. of Education cancelled a federal grant program that funded children’s programming like Sesame Street and Clifford the Big Red Dog, forcing Elmo to sell his dirty socks on the internet for money. And Mike Pence received the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage award for the courageous act of doing his job in 2020 and certifying the election, which is sort of like giving “Employee of the Month” to the waiter who bravely didn’t burn down the restaurant. Methinks we need a higher bar.
Enjoying Hot Tip? Upgrade to paid for even more content, or buy me a coffee.
In culture: Juilliard envisions a tuition-free future, with 40% of students this upcoming fall already attending at no cost. A food hall featuring eight high-end Japanese restaurants is moving into a new development in West Hollywood. And last night’s Met Gala, which celebrated the Costume Institute’s Spring 2025 Exhibition “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style” gave us 1) these gorgeous looks and 2) a pregnant Rihanna!!!
“I don’t know.” - Donald Trump, when asked by NBC’s Kristin Welker if he has to uphold the Constitution as President of the United States.
👀 What you should be watching: Weirdo genius Nathan Fielder + The Rehearsal Season 2, which is breaking my brain and I welcome it. The Gilded Age Season 3 trailer. Cole Escola’s CBS Sunday Morning interview in which he answers Mo Rocca’s very important question: “Are you a demon twink?” Quinta Brunson’s SNL monologue and also the ferry sketch with Mikey Day and Chloe Fineman.
Previously on Hot Tip:
Can I just say that there is no way Melania ever said she thought the pope picture was cute. This woman looks like she is just counting the minutes until she can divorce him.
Glad to see the rest of the world is learning from our mistakes…