Where is Todd Blanche's unibrow?
And other things that are more important than whatever he is doing.
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I took last week off for a bit of a vacation while visiting my niece and nephew outside Seattle, where we watched copious amounts of Bluey, ate our respective body weights in wild blackberries, and cold plunged in the Puget Sound whilst in the company of (far away enough to be cool, not scary) orcas. Cheers to PNW summer!!!
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In politics: The Washington Post reported that an Iranian security threat recently prompted Donny Trump to secretly switch out of Air Force One and into a smaller military plane via a catering truck, some Scooby Doo-ass hijinks which theoretically would have all been fine, except that the plane remained full of journalists and some Trump cabinet officials—looking at you, Marco Rubio and Scott Bessent—whom he was apparently all too happy to throw under the bus plane.
Meanwhile, Trump’s former personal attorney Todd Blanche is now the officially confirmed Attorney General, so get ready for the Justice Department to focus on the important things, like prosecuting a 67-year old former Olympian and immediately giving Donald Trump even more “executive privilege”—all from a guy who somehow looks like he is missing his unibrow?
Quick tips: The MyPillow guy isn’t going to be governor of Minnesota, even if he won’t admit it. Europe is getting another heat wave this week. And WH Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt is in fact leaving her post at the end of the month to spend more time with her family, and will be replaced by a racist broom with boobs.
In things absolutely no one asked for: An upcoming Netflix documentary on Raygun, the Australian Olympic breakdancer.
In normalizing and explaining the process of egg freezing: God bless Queen AOC, who is vlogging her way through egg retrieval at 36 years young—shit, note to self: don’t Google how old wildly impressive people are. In a world where the aisles at CVS still say “feminine hygiene” instead of pads and tampons, it feels deeply refreshing to see our leaders just talk about fertility in a direct and non-shameful way. Among my 30-something friends, the subject comes up about as often as whether or not Timothee Chalamet is annoying us atm (which is to say, quite often.) And we should be talking about it—egg freezing, not Timmy. Egg freezing rates have quadrupled in the last decade, and I was particularly struck by something she said on Instagram this evening: “[Earlier generations] saved up for a down payment on a house. I saved up to preserve my fertility.” Yes, it’s too expensive, and we need to remedy that. But talking about it out loud outside of just our immediate peer groups is something, too. Of course, re: Timmy, yes, it’s been a lot, but knowing we get Dune: Part Three in December is getting me through the August heat right now.
FYC: I’ve been dealing with some acne scarring from self-inflicted pimple popping wounds, and this Caudalie serum is saving me. My friend Matt is performing a solo show in Edinburgh that is not to be missed, if you happen to be there for Fringe!!! And catch Tom Glynn-Carney with the line delivery of the year, which may have bested 2025’s “Devour feculence” and “When I bedecked myself in these geegaws, I was looking forward to your coming home!”)
Previously on Hot Tip:
