And THAT'S why we need a ballroom?

Living at the border of fact and fiction in 2026.

Apr 28, 2026

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It’s jacaranda season in Los Angeles—slightly earlier than usual. If you’re not a local, jacarandas are gorgeous trees brought to southern California from South America in the late 19th century that bloom purple all over the city. I love this interactive map (hot tip: it only worked for me in Safari) that shows where you can find them in your neighborhood. Realistically, though, you just need to get in your car and drive a few blocks and you’ll see ~~one~~ five.

In politics:

There’s a lot to consider and debrief about re: the attempted attack at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday, so here are a few hot tips I hope don’t get lost in the chaos:

Obviously, violence is bad. Political violence, sure, but going to go out on a limb here and say any kind of violence should be designated as “not good,” along with inviting members of a wannabe autocracy to sit at your dinner table and ditching your wife amid an active shooter scare. All bad things!!!

Parks And Recreation: 10 Funniest Bobby Newport Quotes — Clap for me in the comments.

The mentalist is not very good at his job and should stick to corporate events where he guesses people’s PIN numbers. Honestly, there’s a Robin Hood-esque redemption arc available to him via that path, and I encourage it.
Pivoting immediately from “I feared for my life!!!” to “this is why the ballroom is necessary”—and I do mean immediately; like, some journalists scootered between the dinner and the press conference that followed within the hour—will inherently raise skepticism, as will journalists not having follow-up questions that don’t acknowledge the president’s regularly violent programming, whether that’s war propaganda videos that use literal Call of Duty clips, the oldie goldie “very fine people on both sides”, calls for the deaths of members of Congress, et fuckin cetera. We can acknowledge the genuine fear of the people in that room while also raising a Eugene Levy sized-eyebrow at the weirdo White House reaction. Then again, everyone knows Lincoln’s dying words were “this is because there wasn’t a White House theatre.”

Journalists and commentators are all we have right now to distinguish between fact and a whole lot of ridiculous fiction. So to all the Jake Tappers out there who once used their clout to write books that might as well have had the subtitle “Surprise! Joe Biden Old!”, who choose this moment to go along with the administration’s bullshit ballroom narrative instead of questioning it, instead of asking why a bunch of adults at a dumb, fancy dinner deserve more safety considerations than classrooms of kindergarteners, well babes, you are not just part of the problem; Surprise! You’re complicit!

Quick tips: The Justice Department is going after James Comey again, this time over—cue Judge Judy eyeroll—a seashell photo. Meanwhile, journalist Katie Phang is suing the very same DOJ over the release of the rest of the Epstein Files. And Trump is very busy giving the landlord special to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, which will soon be painted a very dignified “American flag blue.”

Makeover in progress: Trump shares photos of Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool — Now all it needs is a lifeguard and a waterslide that gives you a UTI.

In (good) business:

Tim Heidecker will be running The Onion’s new iteration of Alex Jones’ InfoWars, which he hopes will turn “into a destination for good comedy…a new comedy platform.” Hot tip: The Onion will also be sharing profits with Sandy Hook families, to start “getting them paid what they're owed” from Jones’ vile attacks. Mensches, all of ‘em. Some Peloton classes are now available on Spotify Premium, and I will always welcome Callie Gullickson, Emma Lovewell, and Jess Sims in another section of my phone. And designer Destiny Pinto is turning assistive medical devices —like ostomy bags and compression gloves—into chic fashion pieces with her UK-based label.

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In culture:

Laura Dern is replacing Helena Bonham Carter on the new season of The White Lotus. Lady Gaga and Doechii gave us a song and a music video for The Devil Wears Prada 2. And Jimmy Kimmel is once again the target of Donny T’s (and his loving, devoted wife’s) ire, with the FCC now coming after Disney & ABC. But as ever, Jimmy is steady.

As a former Late Night staffer and ~religious devotee~ of the late night monologue, whose newsletter exists because of shows like these, and who believes in the importance of comedy to fight fascism, I’m so grateful—and not at all surprised—to see Jimmy continuing to stand up for himself, his staff, and freedom of speech. I know some journalists that could take a page out of his book (see above, Tapper.)